millions of thoughts are running through my head.
and i'm trying so hard to jus sift through the mess but im tired.
i know i have to set my priorities straight and put up a fight.
at least hold myself together until the 9th of dec. but im so tired.
i fell asleep last nite. with tears running down my cheeks.
and i had a dream. but when i saw his face i jolted awake.
again, with tears running down my cheeks.
the pain was unbelievable. excruciating. i didn't know how to stop it.
i felt like something, somewhere inside of me was dying.
i wanted to call him but it took such great lengths to resist the urge.
all i could do was pray for strength for me, for us, to deal with this.
oh god im tearing like there's no tmr. zzz..puffy eyes.
and i'm not even done pouring my heart out.
i asked some questions yesterday. some answers were hurtful. some, a relief.
although, there's still one more question, maybe it doesnt matter anymore.
maybe it matters but not for now at least? if i should know i'd know somehow.
i hope i'm not wrong. that he isnt that type of men.
because the 'him' that i know, is a better person than that..
too many things are going on in our lives. too many, too fast.
i hope that this will give us some perspective. clear the paths.
there's these two lines from one of my poems, "for too long, everything known was gone"
and for a while, it has. when things moved too quickly, i guess we lost sight of things.
we didnt slow down. instead we just kept pushing till we're both strained.
maybe it didnt come abt the best time but whose to say when's the "best time"?
it's going to be a tough few weeks, irregardless.
but let fate be the judge.
there's always sunshine after the rain.
maybe after a few days/weeks/months, things will get better.
for now, i have the support of my family, friends and hopefully, his too.
the perfect stranger.
always..
and forever.. <3
family potrait. =)
